The problem
You know those things that people do or say that just make your insides turn, your eyes squint a little, and make you have to hold back a grunt of pain. Even worse than that, you know when you do these things yourself and you are so disappointed in yourself because you do those things that you hate. Regardless of if you totally relate or are super confused by the beginning of this post, I am going to share one of the things that just grinds my gears. I can’t stand it when people shame others for complaining about something just because it’s not as bad as what someone else is struggling with. For example, Friend 1 – “I am having a bad day, and I feel so overwhelmed. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and I still have a project to finish.” Friend 2 – “Oh please, you are fine. I had to drive my friend to the hospital last night, my dog died today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I have been diagnosed with diabetes. You should not be complaining.” Although the conversation may or may not be as extreme as the example given, this dialog happens on the daily. Sometimes it is someone else telling us to suck it up because they have it rougher than we do. Other times, to my dismay, we are the ones telling others that they should keep their pain to themselves because our suffering is worse. My selfish “I’ve had it worse” conversations usually include the phrase “at least____” Friend from school – “man this semester has been really rough” Me, without even asking why their semester is rough, - “at least you don’t have a concussion. This is absolutely unacceptable for two reasons. 1) People in this world are hurting. Just because they are not hurting in the same way or as bad as you are, does not mean that they are not in pain. By making people feel like they are not allowed to be upset by upsetting things, we are forcing them to hold in reactions to everyday life that they need to have. You can’t work through something being a problem if you are told that it’s not a problem at all. 2) I don’t remember anywhere in the Bible where Jesus told his followers that their petty human problems were inferior and not important. He was going to suffer in the worst way and die, which is obviously worse than anything these petty humans were facing, yet he never made their needs or concerns inferior. Jesus healed and helped people with all kinds of struggles big and small regardless of what he was stressed about or going through. The solution Guys, we have to start loving each other again. There is no pride to be taken in your life being worse than somebody else’s unless you are sharing how great God has been in your tough times. This world does not need to know that it could be worse. They need to know that, with God, it can get better. That they have the same hope in their struggle that you have.
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December 2017
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