In John 15:13, Jesus says “This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you.” Now I know that many of us will never encounter a situation where we have to choose whether or not we will die for someone else. We probably won't even need to sacrifice our physical lives for a best friend or family member. However, Paul says in 1st Corinthians 13 that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” How often have we been able to do or be any of these things to save someone's quality of life other than our own? How often have we been willing to be one of these things to the point of death? I will be honest and say that I am not willing to do/be any of these things beyond the point of minor inconvenience. This speaks to my character in ways that I would rather not think about. Christ called us to lay down our lives for our friends and I cannot even lay down my pride or my own selfish interests for another. One of my new challenges for myself is to reflect on 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 in the MSG everyday and choose one thing from the list that will be my focus for that day. The button below will open a free printable of these same verses for you to hang by your mirror, reflect on before bed, or use however you would like.
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There are two places in this world where God has my attention and focus for longer than 30 seconds. The first place is in the car; the second location is in the shower. Last night I took a shower and God brought the first few verses of 1st Corinthians 13 to my mind. I felt like I had been punched in the face by conviction. 1st Corinthians 13 (the LOVE chapter of the bible) begins with the following words: If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Now, this is not new information for you any more than it was for me. Most Christian women have read 1st Corinthians 13 multiple times throughout their lives. I memorized these verses when I was in the 7th grade and they never “moved” me like they did when God whispered them to me in the shower. The lord followed his whispering by stirring a question in my mind; Do you have any love? Well dang… um… I mean…. er.... *stutter*.... God’s timing is so perfect. There was no escaping this soul-searching question while trapped in the shower with the sound of water drowning out the world around me. In that moment it was just God, Me, and a loaded “yes or no” question. My stomach clenched and turned as I fought to find some glimmer of “love” in me. Guilt, pain, and unworthiness washed through my entire being. The truth that I had been avoiding that God knew all along is that I had no love. The first fruit of the spirit had not been grown in my life in a very long time. I know the right things to say to other people to help them, but it is never shared out of my love for them. The more I learn and the smarter I get is only beneficial to my heavenly father if I am using it to love others. Even my faith, trusting in the God who saved my undeserving soul, is worthless if I am not using it as a vessel to receive and share God’s love. I have done all of the right things from a “rules” standpoint. I have tithed, attended church, cared for others, prayed for the unlovable. However, these things were not done out of love but out of duty. This makes any benefit they might have brought void. I used to wonder why I still struggled with depression despite being treated and on fire for Christ. I would wrestle with why I felt like my life was falling apart despite my “efforts”. Ultimately, I could not begin to understand why all of my relationships seemed strained, empty, and deteriorating. My answer was spoken me in the serenity of the shower. LOVE… What am I going to do about it? What am I going to do to let God love me and love through me? I have a few ideas. But I am open to suggestions. Trying to “work hard” and do this alone is how I got into this mess. Part 2 will come soon. Shower head Caddy I remember last semester, trying to keep all of my shower stuff in a caddy on the floor of the shower. I remember always having to sift through it to find the bar of soap down in the bottom somewhere. I also remember washing half of the conditioner out of my hair far too early because I was trying to bend over to pick something up and got my head unexpectedly doused in water. Finally, I remember thinking that I needed to get one of those shower head hanging storage thingies that I had back at home. Did I get one….? Nope! When I went back to school shopping, did I buy one? Not even sort of. Imagine my surprise when I am strolling through the thrift store and find not one, but 3 shower head hanging thingies for less than $3 each. Not only did they have some really nice metal ones for a bargain, but I also had a variety to choose from. No more getting dizzy and almost passing out in the shower because I have to lean over to pick stuff up off the ground for me. Magazine Holders I love getting up 5 minutes before class starts and knowing exactly where each of my textbooks, notebooks, and complimenting folders can be found. I don’t have to rummage for 10 minutes trying to sort through which of my two 27 cent blue notebooks belong to my Old Testament Survey and which one belongs to Issues in Counseling. A specific magazine holder belongs to each class. I can just wake up, grab all of the contents of that holder, still them in my backpack, pop some gum in my mouth (I woke up late), and go to class knowing that I have at least not forgotten my classroom needs. Magazine/file holders are hard to come by for a reasonable price. You can pay around $7 a piece for cute metal ones from target, or you can pay $12 total for a variety pack of 6 flimsy cardboard ones from Amazon (I am still a proud owner of my flimsy ones). However, if you keep your eyes peeled, you can find some of these life savers from your neighborhood thrift shop. I, over multiple trips to the thrift store this summer, have acquired four, nice metal ones for about $1.99 eac Surprise Finds
I can think of numerous times that I have found a deal so good that I truly thought it could not be true. I have found name brand shirts with the tags still on them that were originally $50.00 and I paid $4.00. My greatest find so far was made about a month ago. I had been shopping constantly for a Keurig coffee maker. Any Keurig would do, but I refused to pay more than $30 for a coffee maker out of principle. I was walking through the thrift store on a mission to find a silverware organizer when I saw something bright red out of the corner of my eye. When I looked closer, I found that it was a Keurig mini. A Keurig mini that was only missing the drip tray and the k-cup holder. A Keurig mini for $7.00. I plugged it in while at the store, and it turned on fine. I buy it and take the chance… It works great!!!!! I cleaned the inside with a vinegar solution (thank you Pinterest), and I cleaned the outside with a wet rag and Clorox wipes. I replaced the k-cup holder off of Amazon for less than $10. My roommate and I have been using our $17 Keurig daily. You never know what can be so easily overlooked by some people, but could be the next favorite purchase of your life. I wish I could say that the reason I have not posted on my blog is that I have been un-stoppably busy, tending to a crisis, or studying diligently for something important. Unfortunately, this has not even sort of been the case. I have thought at least twice a week of things to blog and I have had ample opportunity to do so. I have not blogged because I have been afraid, tired, and I did not see the point in writing blog posts. To be honest, I didn’t feel like doing anything at all TBH.
My therapist asked me in one of my first sessions with her how I would describe my depression if I could see it. I told her it was like an ominous, dark cloud that not only hovered over me but also consumed the world I could see. Everywhere I looked was the darkness that inspired sleep. As our sessions continued, I would report that the cloud would start to move away, the sun would begin to shine through a little bit, or that the darkness did not seem as daunting as it once did. At my most recent appointment with her, she asked me how that darkness was looking recently. I enthusiastically reported that I was unable to even locate the dark cloud even on the distant horizon, let alone feel it. I have no way of knowing what depression is like for anyone else in this world. I am not them. However, for me, depression means sleep, sleep means to escape, and escape means feeling numb to the world. Feeling numb is my goal when I was consumed by darkness. I loathed the feeling of emptiness so much that feeling nothing at all seemed like a step up. I wish I could say that I have no idea how I lived like that, how it seems impossible to go back to sleeping an entire year of college away, and that I am “all better”. I can’t... In the same way that we can walk outside and sometimes feel that it is about to rain, I wake up some mornings feeling like a storm of depression might be rolling in. The difference now is that when I sense the cloud, I am not overcome with fear and dread at the imminent arrival of sadness. Instead, I know what it is like to live free from the cloud and I fight it off. Fighting is so much more difficult than letting my fear win. But it’s worth it. Admit it, we all have an area of our lives that we have gots to get together but just haven’t yet. Hopefully one, if not all, of these three ideas will help you on your mission to get your life running smoothly this 2017.
My roommate (Jenny) and I went to Walmart last week to stock up on everything we would need for the new semester. We had a cart full of groceries and various other items that we were loading into my trunk. We were trying to be quick about it because everything outside was moist, damp, and on the verge of receiving, even more, rain than it had already experienced. As I hastily returned the cart and opened my car door to slide in and get this show on the road, Jenny says my name. Her saying my name isn’t what was weird it was the way she said it. I looked up and she nodded her head toward a car on the other side parking aisle. A man had fallen out of the front, passenger seat his car onto the wet concrete. He wasn’t calling for help or anything, but you could tell that he was struggling to get back up on his own. Now, I’m going to be honest. My first instinct was to get in my car and drive away as fast as possible. Something about that situation just stressed me out. I didn’t know what, but something made me apprehensive about the whole thing. Instead of being a horrible individual, I immediately shut my car door and ran over to the man. Jenny (on crutches) followed a little slower behind me.
The first thing I noticed about the situation was that the man was totally out of it. Not in an intoxicated or high way, but more like a mental disability of some kind. As we tried to ask him if he was ok, wanted our help, or was with someone, it was difficult to understand what he was saying. In the end, he said he wanted our help, so Jenny grabbed him under one arm and I grabbed him under the opposite arm and we hoisted him back into his vehicle. It was then that I noticed there was vomit all down the front of his shirt. My heart just completely ached for this man. While I was glancing around the interior of the car to see if there were signs of a healthy driver who had previously been there, Jenny asked him if he was with someone. The man confirmed that he was. I asked him if he was supposed to wait in the car. He said yes. With him safely inside we shut the car door again, returned to our car, and began our commute to our next shopping location. As we were driving away my roommate expressed that she was a little scared during the situation. When I asked her why, she said that she thought it might have been a trick. It could have been some fake scenario set up to trap us by sex traffickers, thieves, murderers, or any other person with bad intentions. It was then when I realized that this was why I had felt afraid when I first saw him. Jenny and I talked about it some more and expressed how angry it made us that doing the right thing could feel so dangerous. As women, we had the stranger danger thing instilled in us at a young age. The fact that we have to battle the thought of our own imminent danger in order to save someone from theirs breaks my heart. Have any of you had a similar experience, felt the same way as us, or want to contribute to our conversation? Comment this post up! Keep rising, even in the face of danger, Brooklyn Cork It was the week before finals and all through the campus… Students were crying… the end. On a for real note, I wanted to cry too. I had five classes worth of final papers and projects to do and absolutely ZERO ambition. I came back to school on the Sunday before finals week planning to get “some” homework done and… you know… procrastinate. My roommate was feeling it too… misery loves company and all of that. This is when we made the wisest decision of all time. Our campus coffee shop is closed on Sunday’s so we weighed our options. Being poor, we decided to try getting a cappuccino from a gas station somewhere. We bought one 24oz cappuccino each from speedway and promptly drank them all. I have never felt a coffee buzz so strong in my life. I got 85% of my final projects and assignments done, helped two other people write their own papers, cleaned my room, watched two episodes of Netflix, and laughed my head off with my roommate. We were up until 4AM, and I still woke up with the same coffee buzz. It was the best thing I’ve ever done for finals. If you ever need a last minute, cheap, and delicious caffeine boost, speedway cappuccino is where it’s at. If you want to sleep at all for the next 48 hours I suggest some tea or something for pansy caffeine drinkers.
Keep rising high… but not because of the coffee drugs, Brooklyn Cork *Public Service Announcement* In no way am I presenting some get rich quick way to pay off student loans or finance a new car payment. What I am going to share, like the title implies, are a couple ways that I use apps to save a little money here are there to help offset the financial nightmare that is “college”. *Public Service Announcement Over* Receipt Hog
I have cashed out twice now and have bought books or stuff for my dorm off of Amazon with them. I collect my receipts throughout the week and on Sunday (my free day), I will scan them while I watch Netflix or something. Microsoft RewardsIf you register or are currently registered for a Microsoft account (Xbox, Laptop, etc…) you can sign in and do daily activities to earn points. You also earn 5 points for every search you do through Bing on your phone and on your computer. Make sure you download the bing app to your phone. What makes it so great is that I am earning points toward a variety of gift card options just by “googling” stuff for school with Bing. This past year alone I have cashed out over $20 in Amazon gift cards. Personally, I think it’s worth the switch. Google Play Rewards
These surveys, at least for me, usually include my shopping history. Have you been to Walmart in the last six months? Did you pay with a card or with cash? Rate your overall experience. Things like this. The opportunity for a survey pops up in your phone’s push notifications, you answer the questions right quick (To be honest – I do them when I go to the bathroom between classes all the time), and boom! You now have $0.10-$0.80 in your google play account to spend however you wish. You can buy an app, a song, a book, or rent a movie with your new account balance. My roommate and I rented about one movie a week last year and I paid for them all with the rewards money that I earned by taking these surveys. There are still more apps that I use to save money, but 1) I don’t want to bore you and 2) I don’t want to promote any apps that I have not used long enough to ensure that they are worth promoting. I hope these apps help you as much as they have helped me.
Keep rising, people, Brooklyn Nothing reminds me that I am a broke college student like not having money for gas. I think there comes a time in every undergrad student’s career when they don’t leave their dorms on the weekend because gas costs more than their bank accounts have to offer. My experience this week might just top this normal collegiate financial crisis. I finally made it home for 4 weeks of break to be free from studying, and I didn’t have enough money to pay for gas for the first week of it. Ugh!!! I had never been saltier. Where did all my money go, you ask? I spent it on Christmas presents for my loved ones…. And cute clothes for me…. but those boot socks I bought two days ago were super cute… yeah…. oops….
Yesterday, my mom asked me if I could take my sister Desi (age 7) to her piano and dance lessons today. My immediate response was “Yes, absolutely” until I remembered that I only had a little under a quarter of a tank of gas left in my car. My next response was, “um… mom, can I have like $5 for gas?” I hate asking people for money especially my family. They have already done so much for me. When I arrived at church last night, I had less than a quarter of a tank left until my car was on empty. I knew that when I left the church to come home, I would have to face the music and put gas in my car. However, when I started the car to come home it said I had 175 miles until empty. I thought this can’t be right. Something must be wrong with my car. I’ll get a little more gas just in case. But, when I put $5 worth of gas in the car, I had a litttle over a half a tank of gas. When I got home, my mom asked me if I still needed money for gas, and I told her about the evening’s events. I said, “I’m not sure if Jesus provided me with gas or if my car is broken.” My mom looked me in the eye and said, “Every good and perfect gift comes from God, Brooklyn. Jesus gave you gas.” I’ve been meditating on that for the last few hours, and I keep thinking that I didn’t deserve that provision. I spent more money than I should have, so I was stuck with the consequences of my own actions. I, hopefully, will remember this time God provided for the rest of my life. I never want to forget that if God is willing to provide for me even when I dug myself my own grave, how much more will he provide in times of unexpected need. As always, keep rising above, Brooklyn Have you ever been invited to a birthday party and not know what to get the person as a gift? We’ve all done it. Now, what we all haven’t done is get invited to a party and remember the day of the party that birthday parties require gifts from those who attend. Well, that’s what I did. It’s the day of my friend’s party and I realize that I haven’t gotten her a gift. Not only is time a factor, but I am a poor college student. This greatly limits my options. Lucky for me, and hopefully for you as well, there is a Dollar Tree nearby. I know what you’re thinking, “The Dollar Tree? I thought this girl was your friend”. I’ll have you know that I got one of my best friends a practical, personal, and cute gift for only $5.
The first thing I did was go to the dishware section and pick out a glass, cereal size bowl and matching coffee mug. I placed the mug, open end side up, inside the bowl. I picked out a bag of individually wrapped candy that I knew she would love (Jolly Ranchers) and placed them inside the bowl around the mug. Next I grabbed some pretty patterned fuzzy socks and placed them inside the coffee mug. Finally I found a body spray that I knew she would like and placed it on top of the socks inside the coffee mug. TADA! Gift done for only $5. I already had tissue paper and a gift bag in my dorm, but you can also get tissue paper and a gift bag from the dollar tree for your gift and only add $2 to your total. My friend loved her gift, and I didn’t have to take out another student loan. I hope this helps you with your last minute gift inspiration. You can substitute the Jolly ranchers for any other form of candy. Just make sure they are individually wrapped, or your friend will have to wash their bowl and mug before they even get to use them. You can also substitute any small item such as nail polish, lip gloss, etc… for the body wash that I placed inside the mug. Keep rising above, Brooklyn |
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December 2017
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